


To Be Pulled Apart

by fairyhaechan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humiliation, LSD, M/M, Overstimulation, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Recreational Drug Use, Soft Mark Lee (NCT), Spanking, The markhyuck tag has seriously been lacking some spice lately, they are both switches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:42:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29223399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyhaechan/pseuds/fairyhaechan
Summary: When he came down from the wave he blinked his eyes open and smiled dopily at Mark.“Woah Hyuck your pupils are blown out”“That’s probably because I'm peaking on acid Mark.” Donghyuck blushed and cupped his face with his hands, feeling the heat increase by the second, now realizing the intensity of Mark's full attention.“It’s good?” Mark grinned knowingly as he spoke.“So, so, good. Like mind-bending, earth-shattering good."(Alternatively, Donghyuck takes LSD and Mark has to babysit him. They both have unresolved feelings and are embarrassed to admit the things they like in bed)
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	To Be Pulled Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so the Markhyuck tag has been dry lately. I wrote part of this fic while I was actually on acid, for, realism you know? It's also extremely self-indulgent. Chapter two is going to basically be just smut, and will definitely be earning its tags so stay tuned :)

Donghyuck wants to feel free. It would be impossible for him to be actually free and he signed up for it that way. He loves his lifestyle, he loves performing and being adored and having enough money to buy good food and a nice gaming pc to play Overwatch. But, he wants to feel free, just for a little while. Just for a day. 

He couldn’t do drugs in Korea, or even tell people he wanted to. In reality he didn’t want it to be something he did habitually. But, he thought it would be cool to do psychedelics at least once. There were many variables to consider but there was one glaring, annoying, always-laughing too-loud blip in the radar he would have to avoid. 

He didn’t want Mark to know. Mark Lee, his best friend and fellow band-mate because well, Mark’s a little judgmental. It’s not like Donghyuck couldn’t take being judged by Mark, he would just reply back with a snarky comment to make Mark blush and back off. 

But, he didn’t want to be nagged and he wanted to do it on the down-low. It’s not as if Mark isn’t to be trusted, in fact he would rank fairly high on “most-trustworthy” NCT members if Donghyuck absolutely had to make a list. However, the thought of telling Mark makes something shy and shameful curl deep inside somewhere yet-to-be determined. 

Hyuck proceeds by asking Johnny what he thinks about it in the middle of one of their nightly gaming sessions.

“Hyung I’ve got the guy south you go beam the guy north.”

“I’ve got it, headshot sniped him bro i’m a beast on controller” 

“That’s it, I’m literally convinced we’re gods”

“We wiped that duo out bro”

Donghyuck wanted to bring it up but he was a little nervous. While they were waiting for the next game to queue up he started, turning to face Johnny in his gaming chair.

“Hyung can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah bro what’s up?” Johnny was smiling down at his phone, only half paying attention to Donghyuck's question.

“I want to do acid and I was kinda hoping for your opinion slash can you trip-sit me?”

This got Johnny’s attention as he locked his phone and looked up at Donghyuck with a little more-than-curious expression on his face. Then he started laughing, like full, breathy Johnny Suh laughing.

“Bro- did you just ask me to babysit you while you do drugs?” 

At that, Donghyuck cracked a smile, yeah it was a little ridiculous but he didn’t trust anyone else with this and he knew Johnny would keep it a secret.

“Yeah okay okay I know it’s kinda funny but I’m serious I want to trip at least once while I’m still young and it’s not that serious and if you don’t think I should or don’t want to watch me it’s fine but just don’t tell anyone and-”

“Woah woah slow down i’m just laughing because I didn’t expect you to say that..like that was the absolute last thing I was expecting. But of course! I’m down to drug babysit you bro.”

Johnny smiled his big Johnny smile and immediately put Donghyuck at ease, this was Johnny...of course he’d be down. It was good news but also made it more real at the same time. What if he freaked out and panicked? What if the trip ended up being bad?

“Hyung I gotta be honest i’m excited but also scared to do this. I really don’t wanna have a bad trip.”

“Don’t worry I’ve done this before-”

“YOU’VE DONE ACID AND I DIDN’T KNOW?? I thought we were closer than that…”

Johnny laughed again,”No you dummy. I’ve watched people while they do LSD before though, it seems kinda fun honestly. You’ll be fine and I know how to calm you down if you start getting weird bro.”

Donghyuck immediately felt better. Now all he had to do was buy the tabs from his producer friend and pick a date to trip.

\--- 

He approached Johnny again a week later after he had made the purchase. They had just finished practicing for the night, 127 and the staff were slowly filtering out of the practice room. He caught Johnny in the corner as he was packing up his bag. 

“I got the stuff for...you know…”

“Woah dude that was fast!”

“Yeah i know but I was thinking I would do it this Sunday while we have the day off, it’s probably my only chance for the next month”

“Do what this Sunday?” 

Mark had overheard their conversation as the other boys were filtering out. Fuck. He was looking up at the two boys while shimmying his notebook back into his backpack. 

“And that- is none of your business Mark.” He said in a tone that was probably far too mean for the situation. Too mean for their usual banter. Too mean for Mark Lee. He couldn't help but give him the cold shoulder; it was really the only way to get him off his back. 

“Ok whatever Hyuck. Forget it. I was just going to tell you that I have this Sunday off too but since you’re in a mood or something i’ll fuck off.” Mark bolts out of the practice room leaving a surprised Haechan and Johnny in his wake. 

“He doesn’t usually get that pissed when you tease him, maybe there’s something up.” Johnny reasoned as Donghyuck stared dumbfounded after him. He didn’t show it but he actually felt a little sorry. Mark didn’t deserve the brunt of his attitude, but he’s usually one of the only members who will consistently put up with it, it’s fun. It’s their dynamic.

\---

Preparing for the trip was a huge undertaking in itself. He scoured the acid subreddits and when he didn’t have much luck with the Korean ones, he settled for a few posts in English. He didn’t know what to expect so he wanted to be prepared, just in case something went south. 

He realized eventually that it would probably be fine as long as he went into it with a positive mindset and had some easy activities planned out to focus on in case he needed to be more grounded. And then there was the issue of location. 

He really didn’t want to do it inside. Like, every post had said it would be so much more fun out in the open air, where every bug and plant and sway of the breeze could absolutely sing to you. But it was risky. Far too risky to even consider it. So, he settled for the dorm. No one besides Johnny and him would be on his floor that day so he figured he could roam the living spaces freely if he got tired of staring at Johnny’s (messy) side of the room all day. 

Rather than letting nervousness set in the days leading up to his trip, he let the butterflies fuel him into excitement. He was going to live! Be a teenager! Do something absolutely stupid and mainly harmless.

When Sunday morning hit and his alarm clock sang 7:30, he shimmied out of bed instead of lazing in his typical off-day stupor. He had to start tripping early, after perusing the subreddits he knew it would probably last between 8 and 12 hours. He was prepared. He was buzzing. 

So, when Donghyuck popped the tab under his tongue, he hummed and pulled the blinds open loudly enough for Johnny to stir. Tucking the tab securely between the underside of his tongue and his teeth, he sang, very purposely off key, right into Johnny’s ear. The older boy responded in an unhappy but not altogether pissed off groan. He cleaned and waited, humming along happily to Johnny’s morning playlist. 

He thought doing something this illegal would make him feel bad about himself or something, especially with the iron fist of SM entertainment bearing heavily on his subconscious at practically all hours of the day. But Donghyuck felt numb. The lines between Haechan and Donghyuck usually blurred for him. Performance was no longer a verb for being on stage, it was synonymous with living, breathing. So he was, here and now, committing himself to letting go. 

He knew something was happening when he started to giggle and had no idea why he was laughing. He would figure out what was so funny and then a minute later completely forget, and laugh even harder at the fact that his brain was moving too fast for him to even keep track of his thoughts. 

“Haechannie I think it’s kicking in” Johnny smiled as he spoke with the biggest grin possible plastered on his face. He was so glad he decided to do this with Johnny. Johnny had this incredible superpower of making Hyuck feel at ease even when his hyper disposition threatened chaos at every turn. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about hyung everything is just fucking hilarious right now and the music sounds insane” He could barely breathe he was laughing so hard.

It was impossible to describe the feeling that came next, after about 10 minutes it was like deep introspection. He was thinking about his career and his friends and his life but almost like he was an outsider looking in, everything that was hard felt so simple in that moment. A deep calm unlike one he’d ever known, burst forth. 

“Bro this is sooooo nice”

“I told you it would be awesome didn’t I?” Johnny closed his eyes, lounging back with shower-wet hair in Hyuck’s gaming chair. 

Haechan was drifting in and out of reality, seeing the beds and chairs wiggle and shift in his warped vision. He positioned himself smack-dab in the middle of his comforter, staring up at the ceiling, though he really felt like he was not so different from the furniture, the cactus high on the windowsill, the LED computer keyboard shifting between blue and pink. He was slowly coming to the realization that he was high.

He felt like a little kid again, totally unattached from stress but also highly emotional, everything was pretty and even seeing Johnny across the room made his heart ache a little. He was not usually this tender. It was a little scary and nice at the same time. 

Muffled in his pocket, Johnny's phone started ringing. He cut the music in order to pick up the call. 

“Hello is there something wrong? Bro you know I get stressed when you call on my day off.” The inkling of concern in his voice made Donghyuck a little more than anxious.

“This really isn’t a good time is there any other time I can do the recording?” Hyuck’s heart started pounding rapidly and he began wringing his wrists in concern. Was Johnny going to have to leave? Now? 

Johnny continued, sitting up in his chair and reaching over to grab his sneakers, trying to precariously hold his phone between his ear and shoulder while he slid his shoes on, “I need to take care of something. Give me 30 minutes to get down there and that’s the best I can do.” Johnny waited for the response from the tinny voice on the phone and grumbled a goodbye. 

“What is going on?” Donghyuck looked at Johnny wide eyed, curling up in his bed, anxiously awaiting his response. 

“The producer’s saying there was an issue and he lost some of my vocals for the new track so I have to go and re-record them. There is no other time I can go i’m so sorry Hyuck,” 

“Johnny but- but what am I gonna do this is all so new and I feel weird Johnny...like really weird about you leaving”

Johnny stood and thought for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face as he took his phone out of his pocket again.

“Well hyuck I have a solution but you’re not gonna like it.” He typed in his password and scrolled until he found what he was looking for. “Mark! Hey bro what’s up?” 

Donghyuck went absolutely pale. His heart dropped like it had never before. There were little spirals of light coming off of Johnny's body, encircling him like an aura. His voice felt far away, like he could barely piece together what he was saying even though he was standing right in front of him speaking clearly. Donghyuck closed in on himself as Johnny spoke on the phone to Mark, explaining the situation to him. 

After a few minutes Johnny walked over and sat on the bed next to Donghyuck in the chair. 

“Donghyuck hey-”

Hyuck felt...spacey and shaken. Like he had so many things to say but couldn’t focus enough on one sentence enough to express it. “B-b-but what’s gonna happen with me?” 

“Donghyuck you’re fine you’re just tripping really hard, hey-” Johnny grabbed his arm and continued, “Take a deep breath with me. Ready?” 

They took a simultaneous long breath and Johnny's immediate presence alone seemed to have a calming effect on Donghyuck. He could focus again and everything wasn’t so intense anymore. 

“Ok here’s what’s gonna happen. I am going to go, and Mark is going to come and hang out with you. I explained the situation to him and he promised me to not be judgemental and to practice soothing techniques if you get anxious at all. You can always call me if you feel unsafe and i’ll see what I can do...but you and I both know that we can trust Mark Lee with anything.”

Donghyuck felt a little more in control with Johnny's reassurance. He was anxious about being so uninhibited around Mark. Hyuck was always so perfectly sarcastic and annoying and quick. He didn’t have that in him right now. (Plus he might have the tiniest, most miniscule crush on Mark that he was currently trying to bury as hard as humanly possible.)

Hyuck uncurled from the chair, planted his feet on the ground and laughed. “Bro this is a crazy situation and it’s honestly kinda funny. I’m gonna try and be more calm even though thinking with my brain is proving to be difficult.” 

Johnny smiled big and comforting, ruffling his hair while Donghyuck tried to flinch away, “Ya! I’m just on drugs not psycho, stop with your giant baseball mitt hands.” 

“There’s the Hyuck I know.” They both stood as Donghyuck followed Johnny into the living room.

Donghyuck dove into the love-worn couch as Johnny answered Mark’s knock on the door, pulling him into the hallway to talk-presumably about Donghyuck. He stared at the ceiling, feeling all kinds of intense as he imagined the look in Mark’s eyes when they would meet face-to-face. 

As soon as Mark stepped through the doorway without Johnny, Hyuck’s mood shifted faster than he had ever thought possible. He was happy Mark was here. Yes he was a little spacey and anxious. But, above all, he was always in the mood to annoy Mark Lee. 

“Hey Hyuck…”

Mark shifted his weight awkwardly in the middle of the living room, feet idling on the carpet in front of the couch where Donghyuck was currently planted. 

“Sooooo acid huh?” Mark smiled and scratched the back of his neck, all Donghyuck could think about was how Mark was being so Mark in that moment. 

“Do you have to make it sound so lame? I’m tripping balls right now.” That made the other boy laugh as Donghyuck cracked a smirk and the tension was split open, dissipating from the space between their bodies. The air felt raw and electric. 

“How does it feel? Like does it feel good? Are you seeing crazy shit?” Mark plopped down on the couch next to the other boy, their legs almost touching but not quite. 

“I feel...a lot. Like one second it’s so intense and the visuals are weird and I can barely remember what I'm doing and then the next I want to cry and then the next I'm laughing like nothing has ever been funnier in my life.” 

Mark was listening until he got this mischievous look in his eyes all of a sudden and started poking Donghyuck in the side trying to elicit a reaction from the boy. “Sooo are you still insanely ticklish? Just wanted to see if it worked the same when you’re on acid.”

“Ahh a rare moment of Mark Lee sarcasm” Hyuck mumbled under his breath as Mark giggled and kept up the assault until Donghyuck was out of breath from laughing so hard and begging him to stop. 

“I swear to god you little fucker you will PAY for this.” Without warning Donghyuck hauled himself onto Mark’s lap and couldn’t help feel pinpricks of pleasure all over just from his body being so closely pressed together with Mark’s. He could feel another intense wave of the trip coming over him as he went a bit docile and still on Mark’s lap. 

Mark stopped his pokes, noticing the shift in mood and cleared his throat to fill the now awkward silence. Hyuck just stared at Mark's face, noticing everything as it flowed and crackled in front of his eyes. 

The peak of Mark’s nose and his cheekbones were pretty even when they were warping and Mark’s blue-black hair glistened in the pale light coming from the windows. Donghyuck couldn’t contain what he said next even if he wanted to. 

“You look so pretty Mark Lee, why is that the only thing my brain can think of right now. Even when your face is moving it’s still nice...even prettier maybe.”

Mark stilled, frozen in place, probably trying to not ruin the moment as Donghyuck brought a shaky hand up to trace over Mark’s nose, down to the peak of his cupid’s bow then finally circling around his chin softly. Donghyuck ran his fingers through mark’s hair down to the base of his neck and pulled, eliciting a little sigh from mark.

The two looked up at each other immediately after, wide eyed and unprepared for the vulnerable moment. An accident rooted in pleasure. 

Donghyuck slid off of Mark’s lap and back onto the couch, feeling bad about possibly making Mark feel weird. It definitely went past some kind of platonic barrier they had and he didn’t want to throw himself on Mark in a state like this.

Hyuck couldn’t stop feeling bad and was starting to spiral with anxiety. This was all so unlike him, one second he was feeling like his confident and outgoing self, and the next moment he wanted to curl in on himself and stay there forever. He was clenching his fists and attempting to not look at Mark, going silent and glassy eyed.

“Woah hyuck what’s up with the super serious look.”

He could answer Mark he just really didn’t want to, it’d be embarrassing and totally unlike him. 

Mark started, “It’s uh- it’s really okay like I get that you’re in a weird place right now and it makes sense if you aren’t acting normal but I still want you to have fun and do what you want so just chill out...I’m not going anywhere.” 

Donghyuck looked up, his eyes glassy and affectionate, devoid of the malice and mischief they usually carried. He felt a burst of confidence in that moment, “I really don’t want to make you feel weird I just kinda want to sit on your lap right now and like touch another person and be close to someone but you didn’t sign up for that and-”

Donghyuck couldn’t even finish his sentence before Mark reached over and hauled Hyuck back onto his lap with surprisingly strong (in Donghyuck’s opinion) and steady hands. Mark spoke a bit softer than his normal booming timbre, “If this is where you need to be right now I don’t want to mess that up for you, you-you can touch it was just..unexpected the first time.”

He felt a longing in his heart at that gesture, he’d never seen Mark in that light before and it was...really boyish and charming. However, his heart raced at the implications of his words. There was both innocence and danger there, like if he took the drugs out of the equation it would mean something important to him. Donghyuck tried to ease up his anxiety a bit with steady breaths as he ran his fingers slowly up the length of Mark’s arms from the slight curve of his elbow to his forearms to his shoulder. They didn’t break eye contact as he brought them up further to trace delicately around his collarbones. Hyuck’s breath hitched as Mark’s hands came to rest on his upper thighs. Neither of them said anything, probably not trying to ruin the impossibility of the moment.

Donghyuck felt another intense wave come over him as he sank into the pleasure of the trip. He felt so free and comfortable in his body, pressed up against his best friend. He smiled and scrunched his eyes shut, wanting to enjoy the moment as much as possible. It was then that Mark started tracing little patterns onto his upper thighs with his fingers. They stayed like that for a few minutes, letting Donghyuck feel as much as he could. 

When he came down from the wave he blinked his eyes open and smiled dopily at Mark. 

“Woah Hyuck your pupils are blown out” 

“That’s probably because I'm peaking on acid Mark.” Donghyuck blushed and cupped his face with his hands, feeling the heat increase by the second, now realizing the intensity of Mark's full attention. 

“It’s good?” Mark grinned knowingly as he spoke. 

“So, so, good. Like mind-bending, earth-shattering good." 

Donghyuck resumed his tracing on Mark’s cheekbones and down his neck for a while stopping to poke and prod at especially sensitive places, right under his jaw down to where his neck meets his upper spine. 

Mark remained board-still, unwavering as Donghyuck explored the goosebumps that arose when he brushed especially soft against his collarbones and back again under his jaw. A shiver ran down Mark’s spine but he wouldn’t dare admit it. “This feels amazing,” Donghyuck whispered under his breath. He was so interested in feeling gentle and being a gentle being. “I want to be gentle with you.” he murmured aloud. Mark responded with “yeah?” and soft encouraging eyes that could go on forever. 

“You’re really hot” Donghyuck exclaimed offhandedly.

“First it was that you wanted to be gentle and now you think i’m hot? Can I get this Haechan all the time?” It was obvious that Mark thought he was kidding but Hyuck continued nonetheless.

“I just think that no one tells you enough that you’re hot when they sit on your lap and look at you up close, but I can confirm that you are 100% sexy from 6 inches away Mark Lee.” 

“What are you trying to get on my good side for huh? I can’t even take you seriously sometimes.” He maintained his upbeat tone but Hyuck could tell it was rooted in annoyance, like Mark was trying to hold back something. 

Haechan was scared that something like this would happen, that him telling Mark something genuine would seem like a joke. 

“I’m serious Mark I think you’re hot.” 

It was then that Donghyuck knew he was officially reaching the peak period where everything would start feeling crazy and nothing would make sense. He rubbed his face in his hands as Mark, surprisingly, carded his fingers through his hair and lingered at the nape, massaging the longer locks in back softly near his scalp. Donghyuck looked up and truly, had what he felt like was a spiritual experience staring at Mark and thinking about how in love with him he was. It all came crashing down in a wave of color and feeling before he could even anticipate it. 

It is easy to call a long-term friendship a little crush. It was easy to file away feelings when they got too intense. He was busy, Mark was busy, they could easily maintain a playful and uncomplicated relationship. 

It was then that Donghyuck made a choice. He didn’t want easy. He wanted to pull apart and be pulled apart- right at the seams. 

He looked up, scooching as close as he possibly could to the other boy, and planted the most delicate of kisses on the lips of unsuspecting Mark Lee. The sensation left him shivering all over from the very top of his head to the tips of his toes. 

He pulled away and stared back at Mark wide-eyed and expecting some sort of a reaction. A blush stole onto his cheeks and Mark peered back at him in wonder. 

“Was that weird?” Donghyuck was getting a little anxious at the lack of response and everything felt much too intense. The pale blue in the blanket perched on the couch next to him seemed to jump out as he attempted to avoid Mark’s gaze.

“Woah, hey, no” Mark grabbed Donghyuck's chin and tipped it up gently to meet his gaze. 

“Hyuck I think this experience is more intense than you thought huh?” with his other hand he rubbed soothing circles into the anxious boy’s waist right against the warm skin underneath his hoodie. 

“Yeah it is.” The blush crept down Hyuck’s neck but the very much in love feeling didn’t leave, it planted itself deeper. Mark treated him more delicately than he ever had. Everything felt like it had a heartbeat and whenever Mark moved his arms he could see the aftershocks of them moving almost in slow motion.

“I liked it when you kissed me.” Mark maintained his eye contact with the other boy so well it was Donghyuck that had to look down. He smiled, embarrassed and taken off guard. He felt everything so much, the space between their heads, the warmth of Mark’s hands on his bare skin fizzling like low fire, the feeling in his gut that threatened arousal. 

Mark continued as Donghyuck couldn’t bear to meet his gaze, “I liked it when you kissed me, but I want you to make sure you want this. If this is just because you’re tripping you might regret it later and I don’t know if I could bear it.” 

As Mark mumbled the last part, Donghyuck thought furiously about his response. Can he really consent to something like this while he’s tripping? But wait, he wanted this so much before he was tripping. He wanted it in the practice room, he wanted it when they were fucking around late at night with Mark’s guitar in between them, he wanted it the second Mark walked into his dorm. And absolutely nothing has changed about his resolve. 

With trepidation he took Mark’s hands in his and laced their fingers together, “Mark this is a really dumb time to tell you but I physically can’t keep it in any longer.” He hiccuped and met Mark’s gaze, “I like-like you. In a gross romantic way, honestly more than i’ve ever liked anyone before...and this drug is making it harder for me to pretend that I don’t anymore.” 

The room seemed to light up with energy again. Almost as if Mark and Haechan, Haechan and Mark, were a fated pair. A divine meeting that stumbled its way through drugs and rehearsals and dumb summer fights that felt like they lasted forever. Awkward Mark Lee and prideful Lee Donghyuck were bound to crash into each other, less like two falling stars, and more like a meteor hurtling towards steady earth. That’s how it felt anyway, to love Mark. Haechan hummed with pleasure from the high and Mark responded with a simple question.

“Do you want to paint?”

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @weedbyun  
> cc: curiouscat.qa/weedbyun


End file.
